News Archive


   "Happy New Year!" (Two Days Early - We'll Be Too Inebriated Soon)

2006 will always be remembered as a special year for us here at NotSoft, as it saw the release of our first title, Shlongg. (Why don't you Buy A Copy with the 10 bucks your Gramma gave you for Christmas? C'mon, spread the love!) We're looking forward to releasing at least 1 title in 2007. Thanks for your support!

In development news, we've come to a grinding halt for the holidays. But we'll be back at 'er in a few days. In the mean time, we wish you all a Happy New Year! And remember, it's only OK to drink and drive if you're playing a video game. Don't do it for real.


   "We Are Old School (Oi! Oi!)"

We've been thinking lately about the impact the Commodore 64 had on the home computing world. So we put a little page together that celebrates the impact it had on the life of bignobody.

In other news, we are currently aiming to have a beta test of our latest game in early 2007, so stay tuned!


   "Spooky Scribblings"

We love Hallowe'en around here. We also love to create art in different mediums. One of those mediums is ink on paper. Sometimes what we draw is kind of creepy. Which brings us full circle back to Hallowe'en.

Since we finally replaced our scanner, we can now bring you a creepy little art gallery by yours truely.

My style is very sloppy and scribbley, but all the pieces here speak to me in some way or another. We hope you'll find something that speaks to you as well.


   "Shlongg In The Arse(cast)"

This title is in perfect keeping with our informal tradition of "things that sound ruder than they actually are".

Shlongg received a mini-review in the October 10th edition of Arsecast, the UK's finest webcast covering the Indie Game Scene. At least, that's what we're assuming, given that they are giving us coverage. It would have been nice if he had a chance to mention the tunnel racing aspect of Shlongg in the just-under-a-minute review, but we're happy to have any mention at all. Actually, we won't complain about any of it as his fondness for VD jokes would make things just to easy for him in this case...

We also added a Shiny new Shlongg banner in the wasted space below the menu. If you look further, you'll see some more wasted space =)


  "Saving The Earth Has Never Been So Affordable!"

That's right! You can now purchase the full version of one of the finest 3D Breakout/Arkanoid inspired games ever created for only $9.99! That's less than 10 cents per level! How can you go wrong?

You can download the demo and purchase the full version at the official Shlongg Website


  "Fun For Free!"

Rather than leave these two little flash games lonely and forgotten on a harddrive somewhere, we've added them to The Games Section! We hope you enjoy them!


  "Who Will Review The Reviewers?"

We will! In what some would call a badge of honour, Shlongg received the lowest score of all the games in the GameTunnel August Indie Game Round-Up! Of course, we had a few choice words to say about it. Read them all here!

In other news, Shlongg v1.01 has been released. Just a minor update: fix for a glitch in Basic Training, exclusive control of the mouse when playing windowed mode and some minor graphic tweaks. Existing Shlongg customers should send an email to support to arrange for the retail patch.

Looking to the future, NotSoft currently has two games underway. The first is a quick puzzle game, and the second is back to the arcade genre. More info to follow...


  "Forward March!"

Well the great Shlongg sale is now over, and its time to move forward. NotSoft is proud to announce that work has started on our next game! The only detail so far is that it will be another windows PC game in the arcade style. Keep watching this space for more details...


  "Anyone For A Dissection?"

Its good practice for software developers to do "postmortems" on their projects. Mine sort of turned into a "Making Of Shlongg" type deal, but that's what you get. See how it all happend!

Shlongg On Sale for $14.95 - Ends Sunday July 23, 2006!  It's your last warning!


  "Who Says We Have No Style?"

If this isn't your first visit here, you'll notice things look a little different! Now that Shlongg has been released, we've finally had a chance to do a major update to the NotSoftGames website.

In addition to the new look, we've now opened our Members Area! Those who purchase the full version of Shlongg have accounts created for them automatically. So far the members area just has the Shlongg Editor Command Reference, but we will be adding more content in the near future.

If you haven't taken advantage of Shlongg On Sale for $14.95, you'd better hurry! The sale ends next week!

  "The Reviews Are In..."

At least the first one anyway!

If you like your video games filled with action and cartoon violence and you haven't yet heard of Dan Marshall or Gibbage, do yourself a favour and check it out!

But of course, this would be after you've downloaded the Shlongg Demo, had a wonderful time, and returned to purchase the Full Version On Sale for $14.95! for a limited time!

You read that correctly, in honour of the ensueing media blitz (and to milk it as much as possible before it get old ;) ) we're having a sale. Keep in mind purchasing the full version also entitles you to future updates and level packs!

Anyway, check out his bludgeoningly accurate review on his blog.

And now to mow my lawn before it rains...

  "The Invasion Has Begun..."

Shlongg is now live, and all the parts of the official website are in place! Check it out!
Now, for some much needed rest...

  "Flying Swine Sighted Over A Frozen Lake Of Fire"

It's very surreal to be typing this. At 4:20 AM, Eastern Standard Time today, the Retail and Official Demo versions of Shlongg became available. This is the culmination of 4 years of sleepless nights... Tonight being a prime example.

The official launch is July 3rd, so the Buy Now pages still have the default Plimus look, and the rest of the site needs to be fleshed out. Workin' on it!

  "Father's Day Contractions"

Happy Father's Day to my Father, Father-In-Law and my GrandFather (Hi Fred!)

Download the latest and greatest demo on thedownload page!

Shlongg Demo v0.99. Same levels as the previous version, but with 2 months worth of updates applied. In Shlongg news, we're still working on it, but are only days away...

Everyone hold your breath!

  "Happy Birthday NotSoft!"

NotSoft was founded one year ago today! To celebrate, we've updated the site's look a little and finally replaced the antiquated images in the screenshots section!

In Shlongg news, we're still working on it. I'm aiming to have the levels finalized this weekend (hey, making over 100 levels and tunnels takes time!). Then it's on to the final play-testing and bug fixes. Almost there!
  "No Wine Before It's Time (And No Whining!)"

One of the beautiful things about being an independent game developer and publisher is that besides being able to publish software with questionable titles, no one can force us to release software before it's ready. It's almost done, but not quite. Please be patient and enjoy the beta version a little longer.
  "Did I Say Final Beta? 'Cause I Meant..."

Well, that's what you get for me saying "final", a new version! Shlongg V0.96 is available on the download page. There is also a patch available to upgrade from v0.95 to 0.96 there as well (556 KB instead of 20.5 megs).

This update is to fix a potential hanging issue when playing with joystick/gamepad in the tunnel section. I've also attempted to fix the timer issues for the cinematics for people with dual processor machines (I say attempted, as I don't have a dual processor to test it on). There are also a few minor fixes that I won't bother to list here.

Oh look, it's past my bedtime again...
  "Almost There... (Stay On Target!)"

The final Beta version of Shlongg is now available! Download Shlongg V0.95 here!
This release has 12 test levels that show most of the game's features. Stay tuned, version 1.0 is coming soon!

But as for me, it's past my bedtime...

  "I Count Real Good Up To Four, Mister!"

And we're aiming to release the full version as the calender leaves the first quarter of 2006! There will be a final beta version available before then (*cough*Guest List*cough*).In the meantime, here's a few screeners
(*may not reflect the quality of the final version. blah blahblah...)

  "Like A Salivating Dog..."

Happy Year Of The Dog everyone! It has been too long since the last update, so I wanted to remind anyone watching that this dog is not dead! He's very much alive, hungry and waiting to be released!

I've been working like 3 dogs (but not these three - they're lazy) to get Shlongg finished. We are currently targeting a first quarter release. I'm currently sprucing up the level editor (as seen here) in preparation of building the real Shlongg levels. The retail version will include the level editor and "extra mission" loading.

I've also wasted more hours than I would have liked putting together the "Guest List" you should be able to see on the side menu. What are the benefits of being on the Guest List? I haven't decided yet :) but I'll let least drop you a line when there's an important release, and I won't give it out or sell it to anybody.
  "Come And Get It!"

Shlongg V0.90 has been released! It sure was a lot of work getting to this point, and I think it's starting to show. Aside from the fancy new intro screens, this version contains the storyline cinematic, training tutorial, some new eye candy (like rudimentary light mapping) and 6 new test levels! What are you waiting for? Download it here!
  "What!? No Treat?"

Well, it's Halloween but there is no update. There's still a few bugs that need to be fixed before this release, so both of you will have to wait a few more days to get Shlongg V0.90!
  "A Harvest Of Screenshots"

I'm working hard to get to the next release. I'm aiming for Pagan New Year (end of October =)) In the mean time, here's a sneak peek at the story line behind Shlongg. Meet the Shlongg Dominion! 

  "Get Your Free Samples!"

The first public Shlongg Beta is here! The instructional/plot sections are still under development, not all artwork is final and there are a few bugs lurking about, but this represents about 90% of what the final product will be.

What are you waiting for? Head over to the Download page!
  "27 Days Later..."

A new version of the Shlongg Beta has finished gestation! Shlongg BetaV0.85.2 includes some new features and several bug fixes, such as:
- Support for special game controllers (more than 2 axes, force feedback, etc.)
- Sensitivity control in Joystick options
- Improved Glue power up (balls now stick where they hit instead of getting centered)
- Some rendering optimizations

The Download page has the new Installer and .zip along with a patch to upgrade those who have previously downloaded any previous version. Enjoy!
  "Revisions and patches"

A new version of the Shlongg Beta is available! Shlongg BetaV0.85.1 includes several bug fixes along with:
- Improved (I hope!) game control (mouse, keyboard, joystick)
- Updated, easier to read font
- Device configuration is remembered and preselected on next run

The Download page has the new Installer and .zip along with a patch to upgrade those who have previously downloaded Shlongg Beta V0.85.
  "Installer bug squished, zip package corrected"

If you downloaded the beta before this evening, you'll find that when you try to run the game using the desktop icon or from the start menu, the game doesn't run (you'll get a message box telling you that it was unable to load the graphics resources, and you may need to reinstall). You don't have to download it again - here's how to fix it:

1) Right-click on the Shlongg Beta Test icon
2) Click Properties
3) Find the "Start In" text field in the Shortcut tab (it will be empty)
4) Type in the path to the folder with Shlongg.exe (or paste it in from the Target field above). If you selected the default location during the install, it will most likely be "C:\Program Files\Shlongg Beta Test\"
5) Click Apply, Click OK

If you have 2 icons (desktop and start menu) you'll need to do this in both places.

I have also updated the .zip package download, so it doesn't contain any installer, just the files needed to run.

There is now a Bug Report page if you prefer not to use email to send me your log files and comments.

Finally, I have updated the Screenshots page with a few screens from the demo.

Thanks to everyone who has downloaded the beta, and especially to those who have sent me their log files and comments!
  "Release the hounds..."

After many, many late nights and a lot of hard work, the first Shlongg beta release is ready. It's a semi-private release, so you'll need a password to download it. If I haven't given you a password and you're really interested, send me an email.

Those of you with passwords, head over to the Shlongg Beta Login page.

  "Geez, you don't update often, do ya?"

That's because I'm working feverishly on getting the beta release of Shlongg ready. I'm aiming to release a private beta version in one week. If you'd like to take part, drop me an email: bignobody 'at'

  "Please don't come in, the King is giving birth"

Today heralds the birth of NotSoft and this website
There's not much here yet but soon it will be a place where you can
try out and purchase my games.

In the mean time you can head over to the Games section
to see a few screenshots of Shlongg, NotSoft's first project.
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